Human Touch
by ncrippa1
Summary: It's been years since Elsa allowed herself human contact - so long, she's almost forgotten what it is.


**A/N: Alright, so this is the first fic I've written for Frozen, and it's been sitting on my laptop for a couple months now, but I was nervous posting for something other than my Doctor Who stories, but, I like it, so I'm finally posting it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing, obviously, otherwise there would've been a LOT more Elsa.**

* * *

Human Touch

It had been five years since Elsa had last had human contact. Five years since she'd hugged her parents, gotten someone's attention with a touch on the shoulder, or held Anna's hand as they ran down the halls together. She was thirteen years old, and she could barely remember what human touch, or warmth, felt like.

Her parents had come to visit her, as they did every day, but she had backed away from them, fearing that she would hurt them on accident, like she had Anna. She couldn't control this icy power, this curse that plagued her, made her a monster. It was getting stronger, and the gloves her father had given her no longer helped. _Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show,_ she chanted to herself as her parents spoke to her. _Conceal, don't feel._

"Elsa? Elsa, can you hear me?" her father asked.

She was pacing in her corner, unaware of having started. She halted, and looked around. Ice had built up behind her, revealing the anxiety and fear she felt inside, no matter how hard she tried to tamp it down.

"I can't conceal it," she told him. "I'm scared! It's getting stronger!" She held out her hands, showing him her frozen gloves.

"Getting upset only makes it worse," her father soothed. "Calm down." He took a step towards her, but she backed away again, holding her hands away from him.

"No! Don't touch me!" she cried. Elsa saw her mother bring up her hands to her face, trying to hold back tears, but she focused on her father, speaking in a quieter, begging tone. "Please, I don't wanna hurt you."

Her mother stepped forward to put a hand on her father's shoulder, as they both looked at her sadly, but acquiesced to her wishes. Elsa's isolation continued.

* * *

It had been ten years since Elsa's last human contact. Ten years since she'd shaken hands, patted someone on the back, or held Anna as they skated around on an ice rink of Elsa's making. She was eighteen years old, and she couldn't remember what human touch, or warmth, felt like.

Elsa had made a rare outing from her room to bid farewell to her parents. They were leaving on an official trip to the kingdom of Corona, one of their closest trading partners, to congratulate their monarchs on the return of their missing princess, Rapunzel. It was the first time in ten years that the King and Queen would both be gone from the castle at one time, but as the queen of Corona was Elsa's aunt, it was necessary.

Elsa waited at the foot of the stairwell as Anna said an enthusiastic goodbye to their parents in their room. She fidgeted, uncomfortable with the open space. _Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show, _she chanted the old phrase. _Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. _They would only be gone two weeks.

Her parents came down the stairs, and she curtseyed gracefully when they got to the bottom. They had learned long ago to stop reaching for Elsa, as she always shied away. But a slight wobble in Elsa's voice gave her away as she said goodbye. "Do you have to go?" she asked, desperately trying to rein in her powers to keep it from snowing. _Anna's upstairs,_ she told herself. _Keep her safe._ The power receded.

The King and Queen smiled warmly. "You'll be fine," her father reassured her. They turned and walked away. Elsa's arms made an involuntary movement away from her body, aching to be held as she hadn't in ten years, but she fisted her hands and held them firmly by her sides.

One week later, Elsa learned from Kai that her parents' ship had been lost at sea. No survivors had been found. As soon as Kai had left, Elsa lost control. Her room froze, windows shattered, icicles sprang from the ceiling, it snowed, and walls cracked. She didn't dare go to the funeral, for fear that she would injure Anna and the other attendees. She remained in her room, in the cold, where monsters like her belonged.

That night, Anna came to her door for the first time in months. Elsa didn't answer – couldn't answer. She could only sit, leaning against the door, sobbing into her arms as the snow came down. Eventually, Elsa vaguely heard Kai come to Anna and urge her to go to bed. But Anna refused. "No, I'm gonna stay," was the muffled reply Elsa heard through the frozen door. "Can't you hear her?"

At Anna's words, Elsa felt a trickle of warmth seep into her for the first time in years. For the first time since she was eight, Elsa felt just a tiny bit safer, with Anna watching over her, like she had tried to watch over Anna all this time. At Anna's words, Elsa allowed herself to fall into an exhausted sleep, the ice in her room melting slowly as she finally relaxed.

Elsa's isolation had lessened a miniscule amount that night.

* * *

It had been thirteen years since Elsa had last had human contact. Thirteen years since someone had brushed her hair for her, since accidental touches as she was handed something, or since Anna had last jumped on her to wake her up. She was twenty-one years old, and she had no idea what human touch felt like. She had felt a tiny bit of warmth three years ago, although that had faded as Coronation Day drew near, and the fear came with it.

But now, coronation had come and gone, and she had just had someone touch her for the first time in thirteen years. And it went as horribly wrong as Elsa had known it would. When Anna had taken her glove, it didn't take long for Elsa to lose control of her powers as her panic grew.

The Duke of Weselton accused her of being the monster Elsa had always known she was. She didn't mean to shoot ice at him – it was an accident. But Elsa's heart broke when she saw her citizens scramble to get away from her. She turned and fled.

_Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show_, she chanted as she ran. She halted at the fjord, but for once, her icy powers helped her, and made a path for her to escape. Elsa looked up, and the shadow of the North Mountain beckoned to her. She headed straight for it, hoping that its isolation would keep Anna and everyone else away from her and safe.

* * *

It had been six months since Elsa had first renewed human contact. Six months since she had first hugged Anna, held her hand, or left her door open again. She was twenty-one years old, and she could finally remember what human touch and warmth felt like.

Elsa still panicked when she was around too many people – an anxiety Anna knew how to identify and deal with quickly, so that Elsa could calm down. She still stiffened when Anna hugged her unexpectedly, but she was learning to relax and return the embrace, knowing that Anna was safe from her powers now that she could control them. Elsa had yet to initiate contact, but Anna was okay with that. Her door was always open to Anna now, and she could go in and steal an hug whenever she wanted. Elsa never turned her away.

With Anna's help, Elsa came to understand that she wasn't cursed, that she wasn't a monster. Instead, she realized that she could use her powers to make Arendelle prosperous. She could bring moisture in dry years, or send away snowstorms when they threatened to be deadly. She could find children lost in blizzards.

With Anna, Kristoff, and Olaf, Elsa had a family. One that loved her as she was. Kristoff had taken a few weeks for the wariness to fade, but seeing Elsa's love for her sister went a long way in thawing his fear of her. Also, he loved ice, so her powers were just cool. Olaf was made from the inner longing's of her heart – he loved summer, heat, Anna, and especially warm hugs, something Elsa had craved for thirteen years but hardly knew it, so he couldn't help loving her. She was him. And Anna, of course, had never stopped loving her, and never would.

Elsa's isolation had ended, finally, and she wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
